Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize