I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
