hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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