this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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