The maid of honor just puked.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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