Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
