I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
