i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
