i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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