So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
