then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
one might say we're banned from that church
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
