I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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