in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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