Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
