You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
