I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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