Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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