Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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