I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
