Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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