I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
