Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I FOUND THE LEGS
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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