I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
