it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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