I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize