Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
