It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
