can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
