that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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