like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
you win again, gameday.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe