I skipped work to stalk him.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We had sex on a dog bed..