pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I could make wine with my vomit
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?