I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!