I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.