Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
