The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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