yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
