The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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