Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
