A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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