You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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