i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
