Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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