Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
