fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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