I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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