Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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