Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
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just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
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I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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