i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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