youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
