I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
