my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
