You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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