i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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