I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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