I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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