She's JV to your varsity
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm at about main and main street
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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