It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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