Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
