i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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