your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
